You think when you are younger that you will have "it" together by the time you are thirty or so. It's just assumed. I have some things figured out, but still feel like I am starting from scratch. All the rules have changed. I thought the goal was to "be nice". I think now that if you don't have someone that doesn't like you, then you haven't really been passionate about anything. Makes me want to go start a fight. LOL
My focus now, which is weighed down by my years of being nice, is to have my only dependency be on one - that is Jesus Christ. I was at a TimeOut for Women. The speaker was recounting the story of Jesus walking on water and sweet, spontaneous Peter wanting to go out to meet him. Peter was able to briefly walk on water because his focus was entirely on the Lord. Of course, it was only when his focus was taken off that he fell. I heard the story before, but had never thought much about how they got back to the boat. They WALKED back TOGETHER. Right now I feel the opposite of everything I admire in Peter - spontaneous, fiercely loyal, and dependent on the right person. That's going to change.
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Hey girl,
ReplyDeleteYa know, I think "being nice" has become a sort of social/emotional epidemic among women, LDS women sometimes in particularly. I think "be nice" is righteous-sounding code for, "sit down and shut-up." That's the exact opposite of what the Lord wants from us or for us. He wants us to feel empowered by His love, and confident in our instincts and gifts as women, and brave enough to stand up for the truth - the truth of the Gospel, the truths within our own hearts, and the truths we know are being betrayed when we're being treated badly and at the same time being told to "be nice". I think the more important attribute to develop is to learn to be kind - kind to others, kind to ourselves - kind enough to ourselves to grow, even when growing means going through some "not nice" things. "Being nice" often equates to "leading lives of quiet desperation". The Savior offers us infinitely more than that, and anyone telling us we should settle for less that what He offers, in the name of "being nice", well, by their fruits ye shall know them. Love you, girl, very much.